Getting a fresh start for 2021
If only life were as simple as how my mom would put it. ''Listen to me, work hard, find success, accomplish your goals, eat what I make for you, and meet a nice girl who'll like me.'' (The last one is definitely going to be the hardest to get around to. Also, by the laws of nature and soap operas, doesn’t every Indian mom have to hate the girl who's with her son?).
For the most part, I tend to ignore what my mom has to say. She makes life sound too simple, too easy, really. But there's a certain beauty to what she has to say, especially given the past year.
Saying it was bad is easy. Let's face it, 2020 sucked. But to be fair, things weren't that bad for me. I had it a lot easier than most people, so I really shouldn't be complaining. I'm also not one to make resolutions around the new year. But I'm also of the belief that starting a new year is an excellent time to reflect on the past one and set out a new agenda for the coming year. Turning a leaf and starting on the right foot on the path ahead.
As someone who is a little too addicted to the productivity, minimalism, and self-improvement YouTube world, my feed was full of people reflecting on 2020 and looking forward to 2021.
I wanted to break my first piece of 2021 into four sections, and it would be easy to start by ranting about the year that was 2020. From Covid-19 to the passing of Kobe, to Liverpool winning the Premier League (RIP all Manchester United Fans), to the fact that this time last year we all thought WW3 was about to begin, 2020 wasn't our best. But I need to acknowledge the wins I had to break the stereotype that middle-class Indians have a pessimistic look at the world and themselves.
Wins & Losses (no good can come without some bad), goal setting, ways to measure progress on these goals, and a calendar so I can see that things are beginning to take shape. That's a good start.
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Win & Losses
Wins:
I didn't get Covid-19. I count that as a win, even though I've barely left home since March. As things were ramping up towards the end of February/early March, I started to display flu-like symptoms. The night before I got myself checked out was among the longer nights I've recently experienced. I'd broken out into a massive cold sweat, I wasn't able to put any food down, and it was scary not knowing what was happening to me or if I had Covid. I didn't, and I felt safe before the same repeated itself in October. I wasn't scared about contracting Covid but was more nervous about what it would do to me if I did. We're still learning about its effects on people, even long after they're Covid-19 free. Sure, losing my sense of smell and taste would suck if my mom was whipping up something nice. However, reading-up on some of the lingering effects that some patients still have scared the bejesus outta me, and thankfully I don't. That's a win in my book.
I also survived another year in college (for whatever that's worth). Win? Meh, ok.
Losses (There was plenty of them this year, so these are just the highlights):
This is the section that's going to hurt a little for me, but I might as well rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with.
Phones are addictive, and my addiction reached new heights when the world started to lockdown. Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, I was hooked to the point where I experienced withdrawal symptoms when I wasn't scrolling and clicking. I got sucked to mindlessly consuming content, some of which was helpful to keep tabs on what was going on around the world. Still, most of the time, it was to keep my eyes and fingers busy. At the end of each day, I'd look back and feel like I had a busy day as my mind was occupied, but none of it was worth anything. It looked and felt like I was busy, but none of it brought any value to me. Had I taken some of those hours to learn a new skill or two, take some more online courses or do something that wasn't on my phone, I would feel a lot better about myself. But instead, I just felt nothing on each refresh or scroll through my timeline.
I also physically feel like shit. I lost muscle, gained a tire around my waist and hips, and generally feel unhealthy. I missed hitting the gym and feeling calluses on top of my calluses after hitting a new PR. It's easy to blame lockdowns and stringent restrictions on gym usage. But at the end of the day, I just sat on my ass and didn't do much about trying to stay healthy. My sleep 'routine' wasn't much of a routine as I'd be up at odd hours of the night catching up on shows or scrolling through my phone. I ate and drank a lot, like a lot, which was fun, to begin with, but I didn't seize the time I had. I thought staying at home would get me back to writing, but I came up with excuses to not do the work. It's a little hard to do, but I'm trying not to judge myself in all the places I fell short. Instead of looking at them as areas where I failed, I'm trying something different and seeing them as areas to grow and improve upon.
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Goal Setting
I could come up with a list of about a dozen things to do for this year or try to pick up one new habit a month for twelve months like Matt D'Avella did. But I also know myself, if I try to do too much, I will sit on my ass, which is precisely what I don't want to do.
I want to focus on achievable and targeted things. Still, I can also help make progress towards being a less shitty version of myself. This is my last year in college, so most people would assume that I would focus on getting my foot in the door of major media companies, internships, and generally boosting my CV (is it CV or resume? Are they one in the same thing or two very different words that are used interchangeably). But that wouldn't help me if I continue to feel like shit, healthwise.
1) My health is my number one priority. Not just for this year, it really should be my number one priority for all years to come, but baby steps, not only of my body but of my mind as well. I was never much of a runner, but I have ample space to do so in Marina, JBR, and JLT. I've never tried to run a 6-minute-mile, and my cardiovascular endurance is something I haven't worked on since my swimming days. While I would like to get back into a pool, it just seems like a cesspool of liquid corona. So, running it is. I also have goals in my strength training and weightlifting. It hit 225 on the bench for at least 6 reps, or 275 when hitting a back squat. Even I don't hit these targets by the end of the year, I wanna be able to see the progress that I've made through the numbers and how I feel every day. I can't forget my mind. Meditating for 10 mins, without guidance and distraction is also something I want to do. Just me and my thoughts, slowly breathing in and out without stressing out about the craziness that is the world around me.
2) Getting back to writing is another thing I'm looking forward to this year. I ran the now-defunct blog https://www.the3rdculturekid.com/ (RIP 2018-2020), where I hardly ever wrote last year. It didn't help that I didn't know my readers as I ranted about a particular sports take that I had. Writing a newsletter where my friends and family are parting the reading list is a pretty decent incentive to be consistent and work on my craft. I want to use this newsletter as the foundation for some of my other creative work. Be it freelancing for different websites and blogs on topics like why I hate the news even though I aspire to be a journalist or start a podcast to explore things more organically; I just want to do and create more.
3) Well, this one is a little more personal as it has to do with relationships, so I'll keep it short. I'd just like to find myself in a place where I can open to someone without having to lie about myself. Sounds simple, but I tend to dodge, duck, and deflect a lot when I meet people, and it's something I want to stop doing.
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Measuring progress
The only way to measure progress is to... measure progress? (Clearly, I haven't thought things through)
When it comes to health, areas where I can see progress are in how fast I'm running, how much I'm lifting, how healthy I'm eating, and how much time I spend meditating.
Besides keeping up this newsletter, I want to expand my network, pitch ideas to people, and learn to find my voice when it comes to my writing and being creative.
When it comes to relationship stuff, it starts with me being honest with myself about a lot of shit I've done and been through before expanding that to my friends and family. Then I think I'll be in a space where I can meet someone new.
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Implementation
This one is always the hardest as it requires doing the things you've set out. And let's face it, nobody wants to put in the work. After all, we're creatures of convenience, and it's easy to sit around and watch the world go by rather than to get up, dust ourselves off, and take that first step. And I've never been much guy who responds to the 'stick,' so the only way to incentivize me is with the carrot, by rewarding myself daily, weekly, and monthly for sticking to the plan and making progress with my goals. I also have a list of daily tasks and a weekly calendar, so I have an overview of what I have left to do.
I have the thinking outta the way; all that's left for me is doing. Sounds easy, and it should be, but nothing comes easy in life (jeez, I'm starting to sound like my Dad, and this wasn't a goal that I had set out for myself). I've come up with a schedule that strikes the right balance between prioritizing my goals and making time for others. It was easy to escape many things last year as 2020 served as an excellent excuse not to do much. But I don't want to let the year get ahead of me. It's time to stop thinking, stop typing, and start doing.